Dear Janie,
It isn't very often that I ever question the ways in which our souls handle (perhaps the wrong word to use) our lives. It is my personal belief that they are arrogant things. They know that they will survive the life, learn what they came to learn, and then go Home to a place 'where life is beautiful all the time.' I don't know (as this personality) if they even take the body's personality into consideration when they plan the challenges, especially if there is going to be great physical, emotional, or mental suffering. I think the personality, in this case me, or you, just goes along truly believing that she is in charge of the life she is living.
But I know that this isn't true. Our souls choose the lives they want to live. They seed them with experiences and challenges that will ensure they learn, by hook or by crook, whatever it is they believe they need to learn in order to provide themselves with the greatest potential for maximum soul growth and evolution. They may feel great compassion, I suppose, for what they're going to be putting the body's personality through, but certainly not enough to change their plans for it. I accept that they believe there is free will. But only as it applies to them, not us. We (the body's personality) are just the means to an end.
Having said all that, I want to say that I wish our souls had chosen differently for us. A different sort of relationship. I wish that we had been sisters in the truest sense of the word. I wish that we had been the kind of sisters that shared secrets, chatted into the wee hours of the morning, met for lunch or dinner and talked about absolutely nothing until sunrise or even taken vacations together with all our children in tow.
I wish that I could have been with you at the end of your life to minister to you and calm your fears. I would have liked to have been the one to have given you comfort if only with assurances that the place you go to is so much more wonderful than you could ever imagine. Where you would be more truly alive than you had ever been here. I would have liked to have been holding your hand. I wish that I could have kissed you goodbye.
I love you, Janie, with all my heart. I hope that you're having the greatest adventure ever. Say hi to momma and grandma Jane.
Your sister, Lydia.
P/S Put in a good word for me, will you?
