GOD

  GOD

      In the ancient days, when the first quiver of speech came to my lips, I ascended the holy mountain and spoke unto God, saying, "Master, I am thy slave. Thy hidden will is my law and I shall obey thee for ever more." But God made no answer, and like a mighty tempest passed away.

 And after a thousand years I ascended the holy mountain and again spoke unto God, saying, "Creator, I am thy creation. Out of clay hast thou fashioned me and to thee I owe mine all." And God made no answer, but like a thousand swift wings passed away.

 And after a thousand years I climbed the holy mountain and spoke unto God again, saying, "Father, I am thy son. In pity and love thou hast given me birth, and through love and worship I shall inherit thy kingdom." And God made no answer, and like the mist that veils the distant hills he passed away.

 And after a thousand years I climbed the sacred mountain and again spoke unto God, saying, "My God, my aim and my fulfilment; I am thy yesterday and thou art my tomorrow. I am thy root in the earth and thou art my flower in the sky, and together we grow before the face of the sun."

 Then God leaned over me, and in my ears whispered words of sweetness, and even as the sea that enfoldeth a brook that runneth down to her, he enfolded me.

 And when I descended to the valleys and the plains, God was there also.

                               ~ Khalil Gibran ... 1900 .. and a little ~

                                            via Daniel Romero

I wanted to remember this always...

Dear Momma

Dear Momma,

Thank you so much for going to the BMSE. Although I was hoping you'd be there I didn't know if you would truly make it. I don't know if you know just how much it meant to me to be able to talk to you...not just that, but to actually have you talk to me, too.

Now you know that I blamed myself for your death. Not directly, of course. But it sure felt that way to me. I truly believed that you would still be here if I had just bought you a car, any car. Without a car, I thought you lost your independence and was a big part of who you were. You were the most independent woman I knew. You had raised your children, a grandaughter, and now you were also raising a great-grandaughter. Your car was a vital part of all that.

It was my belief that when you lost your car you also lost your ability to meet your family's needs. When I didn't buy you another one, I doomed you to a life of dependence. And that was something that you were not used to. Everyone had always looked to you and now you had to look to others to help you meet your needs.

Thank you for being there, momma. Your words allowed me to release my guilt, which I had been carrying for a long time now. I miss you so much. I didn't know it was going to be this hard or that it was going to hurt so much. Nothing could have prepared me for that. Nothing.

Thank you for watching over the girlies, especially Ceewee. I know she needs protecting. I blame her for something...I just don't know what yet. I will pay attention to that if only because I love her so much. And I know how much she means to you and her other momma.

I'm also glad to hear that we belong to the same soul group. It makes alot of sense. I believe that is the reason I'm grieving you so hard. I will begin work on the exercises...beginning with this letter.

Until next time, momma. Loving you with all that I am.

Your kid, Lydia